Apple's approach to photography is to keep everything in iCloud and to view or edit the images from a macOS or iOS device running Photos.app (there's also some limited web browser access). There's some limited ability to share albums between family members and other groups, but this has been a mess for years and I'm not sure what parts of it are available in which versions of macOS.
This approach doesn't work very well if you want to mange your photo Library outside of Photos.app. How do you keep track of what you've have reviewed and exported within Photos.app?
I can think of two ways to do this. One is to apply a Keyword to every image that's exported, then use a Smart Album to track photos that are not keyword tagged. The other, which I do for now, is to periodically review everything in iCloud Photos.app, then export everything from there (so it's empty), then import into my photo repository of choice (still Aperture, but Lightroom and others would work the same way. I think one could even use a non-syncing Photos.app library.
In other words, I use Photos just as a queue for export. If I want to view images on my phone I export from Aperture to Google Photos (for now).
I don't have a great way to review and track photos from family member iCloud libraries. I will probably apply a keyword tag to those I export to reduce duplicate exports.
PS. Photos.app on iOS used to have a special album that identified images that were on-device. That worked well with Image Capture or Aperture Import; I'd delete those images after importing them. These days everything is in iCloud, so I no longer import from the iPhone, I view and export from Photos.app on my Mac. Then I import into Aperture.