The sync list was there, but not the rearrange screen.
What the ?!
I restarted the phone, speculated it was somehow related to disabling app store access, restarted iTunes, quit and connected a few times ...
Nothing. I was stuck.
Thanks Google ...
... Never occurred to me that it would be 3.01. I have a 3.1 phone so I was confounded when the screen for rearranging apps was missing...Yep. The phone still had 3.01. I upgraded to 3.1 two weeks ago, I just assumed it was a 3.1 phone. Since her phone syncs on her user account there was no 3.1 update on the system.
It's a bit of a pain, by the way, to now have two downloaded copies of 3.1 on the same machine. There's now one in her user account and one in mine.