I got a message tone for every sender -- except Emily. Who is my most important correspondent.
So I went debugging. I asked Perplexity for fixes and got a good set of responses -- except for the non-existent DND setting (click for full res):
I tried all but reset Notifications since I have a vague memory of annoying side-effects from that. I also checked "hide alerts" (which is probably where the DND thing comes from -- that was an old term) on her Contact and that was off (not enabled). I toggled it for good measure.
I didn't want to remove and restore her contact as I thought that might mess up Photos.app naming. So I tried removing her phone numbers. Without any numbers in her contact iMessages did generate a tone -- but the default tone, not the custom tone. Still, it was something!
When I added in Emily's cellphone number that caused the custom tone I'd set to become active. (I also added back another number with no effect.)
So the bug is gone for now. I'm guessing it's something deep in the bowels of Apple's SMS/iMessage integration with AT&T (our carrier). The variable tone with and without the phone number is a clue.
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